Thursday, July 23, 2009

Reality rocks

There is so much Indian reality TV to watch it is getting very hard to keep track.
I cant post fast enough about Rakhhi ka swayamvar. My post gets outdated the minute Ive posted it.

We are all sooooo over Luv and his elimination. We have visited Creepy Tiwari's house where they dint offer Rakhi a cup of tea and sweet Chitiz's house who unfortunately hasnt developed 'feelings'. Tonight she video conferences with Canadian Elesh's parents. I cant wait for the promised twist. I am also hoping it wont happen and she'll just marry Chitiz and wear his clothes. (not his, the ones he makes) edited to add: She picked Elesh. Dint marry him. Yet. Probably wont.

Then there is Sach ka Samna. The episode I watched had an actress named Urvashi, who lost ten lakhs because she answered a question untruthfully. Tragic really, especially after she dealt with questions like " Were you expelled from college because you were pregnant?" "Have you slept with a married man?" and so on. Why did Urvashi lie anyway? She must have known that she would be given away by the machine. Why have your secret exposed AND lose all the money you won so far. Her downfall came though her friend Shanela (a friend no more Im sure). She truthfully revealed her friend tries to control her life but then lied when she said she dint believe Shanela was her friend only because she( i.e. Urvashi) was famous. Perhaps Urvashi din't realise that she thought her friend was a celebrity suck up till it was revealed to her on TV. Gasp. In any case she lost 10 lakhs and probably is unlikely to bond with Shanela anymore.

Then there is Zing ne bana di Jodi which is supposed to be like the Indian 'beauty and the geek'. Small town boys try to hook up with 'uptown' girls...but it is little puzzling as the small town boys seem to be quite savvy and hep. There is already a lot on angst with one chap admitting he was attracted to another girl (who was not his partner) but would rather stick with his current partner because she is better at tasks.

Then there is the jungle show which might be worth a watch for Fiza- the ex asst advocate general, Haryana who converted and ran away with the ex deputy CM, Haryana. 10 celebrities are stuck in a jungle in Malaysia and do all kinds of tasks and finally - surprise one of them wins a load of cash

Such an explosion of reality shows. Most of them are ripoffs from shows that have been aired elsewhere. This is not new - way back in the 90s we imported the Wheel of Fortune . Miss India was an import from pageant formats developed elsewhere. Not so long ago we had Kaun Banega Crorepati. There have been some homegrown formats like Antakshari and Boogie Woogie but they have disappeared now. Now we have Indian Idol, Jhalak Dikkhla Ja, KyaAap Paanchvi Paas Se Tez Hain and Big Boss all rip offs from international formats. I wonder whats next - A simple life? - who are the Indian brats who could fit? An Indian Bridezilla could work. An Indian project runway or Indias next top model would be great fun. The Apprentice? - with Vijay Mallaya or Anil Ambani. Theres a gold mine out there.

Meanwhile, so many shows so little time. Sigh

Friday, June 5, 2009

the death of internet monikers or when did we grow so old?

Blogs seem to be the only places where you can have an internet moniker anymore . like mem or duh or cloud-light. Then again you can do this only on personal blogs.

Earlier these names were everywhere- emails, chat identities. Almost everyone when they first discover the internet decides to shed their staid name that identifies their country, the religion, and gender and decides to pick one that indicates their level of 1. horniness 2. geekiness 3. well- readness 4. well listenedness .

We are presented with a world where we can maintain total anonymity, allowing us to present ourselves the way we want to appear. Nobody can even see you. You can be anyone -unique and brilliant. Yet you have - studboy5467 (5466 people probably already have that name). Men will pick something that has something to do with sex and women will pick something thats cute.

I have been equally guilty - I convinced one friend to be sexbomb on a chatforum. Later I made it sound as if this was a huge clever scam and I had realized the ridiculousness of it all along and had conned my naive friend into accepting the name. In truth, I thought it was a kickass name.

Then there is the second level of maturity where you spurn names like studboy and sexbomb and pick something that reveals something about you- your penchant for music about death ,your love for obscure literature, you knowledge of some pop culture trivia, your wonderful skills in working our anagrams.

Then you grow up and discover your grandma wants to email you and that your boss thinks star wars is stupid- so now you have to generate a firstname.lastname@ account. No matter this is not the account you use for work. You have realized that you will interact with family online and that internet is not the domain of the young anymore. You will also realise that while your name stays comfortingly stable, your love for bands, obscure literature, and things that make you go wow change through the years. Soon there wont even be things that make you go wow and even when you do find things that make you go wow - making them a part of your identity has become so lame.

Even when you want to maintain anonymity, like say in a personal blog, - you venture carefully picking names like mem and em and me and she and he. Sigh how boring have we become.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

i yam what i yam

and thats not popeye the sailor man

How I became mem: I received an invitation from M to post on this blog and this was my first post. I needed a name to post. I wanted to be M but couldn't because M had already beaten me to it. I then thought of being em but then there is a pretty well known eM blogger around. I then toyed with being 'me' again someone else I knew had bagged it. Some suggested yum- I refused.
(I had a math teacher in 7th std who would say (yum plus yun) into yum is equwaalto yumyum plus yunyum. Her classes made me very hungry).

So wanting to be M and em and me and not yum I became mem. I dint like the name. It sounded stupid. (why could I not have picked crazycoolme or superhotbabypapa?) But I told myself a name dint matter and stuck to 'mem' and have posted 61 posts (ha! you dint think it would be that many did you! - actually most of them are cheating one line posts) under that name and a million comments besides. Now I am almost fond of the name.

Now that I am slowly coming to terms with 'mem' I learn this- "Mem, as the thirteenth letter of the Hebrew alphabet is most often associated with Death, Atu XIII. Aliester Crowley however, in his Thoth tarot deck assigns Nun to to the thirteenth card, and Mem to The Hanged Man" (from wikipedia).

Monday, April 20, 2009

Rakhi will choose from among 15 grooms on NDTV Imagine's new show 'Rakhi Ka Swayamvar' to pick the man she will marry. She has already said many fun things like how she wants her mother in law to be "spicy" and how the husband should be like "shah rukh, salman khan, and aamir khan" .

I am sure its all very ridiculous and all that but it really really bugs me to see one Times Now piece about this show. The reporter signs off with "Thank you for the entertainment, but no thanks Rakhi, I don't think men of taste will bite at this bait. This is Nupur somethingortheother from times now"
Oh go suck an egg Nupur. Rakhis TRPs will beat your silly shows anytime

Monday, April 13, 2009


I have already told you how much I hate shopping. Now I will give you Bangalore Shopping Guide for Clothes- from viewpoint of one who wants to be done with shopping quickly.

No I lie. I am a terrible quick shopper.  When shopping, I will spend forever, conflicted between two exact same tops one costing Rs. 50 and the other Rs 5000..... easy decision you say? No. I would have to spent one hour trying to get the catch, will fail and eventually buy the Rs 50 one to discover that it was actually kids shorts or something. I actually do own one kids nehru jacket that I wore as sleeveless buttoned shirt for longest time. Of course I dint realize it was kids nehru jacket, so I wasn't being ironic cool or anything. I only realised my buttoned sleeveless shirt was actually a kid;s nehru jacket when I went back and saw it displayed on a boy sized mannequin.  Ok long ramble later- I will give you Bangalore Shopping Guide from perspective of person who wants very badly to be a quick shopper- but will fail.

So what does Bangalore offer to the shopper?

Malls malls and more malls - The Garuda/ Forum variety: There is usually not much to differentiate one mall from the other so your decision should be based on the distance from you. These malls will have everything including one westside, one shopperstop, one or two high end stores, one roller coster plus bowling arcade plus house of horrors plus African tiger safari.
(quick quiz: which of the above does forum/garuda actually have? quick quiz 2: Do african tigers exist?)
So this seems like the best bet for the quick shopper. The added attractions of food courts and beauty salons and nail parlours offer comforting distractions from tasks at hand. Also- yaay restrooms!

Lido mall and Fun cinemas mall: These are the malls that are not really malls but cinema theaters with malls attached to them. They claim that they cater to a niche crowd. That is not you (the harried shopper) so give these a miss.

Bombay stores, Pantaloon, Lifestyle: Now if you are serious about your shopping mission, it might make sense to skip the Garuda/Forum type mall and attack this kind. There are no food courts, no person doing cartwheels, no cinema theater to distract you. It is also less crowded since everyone else is in another mall to watch cartwheels or african tigers. However - changing rooms are fewer and less comfy and if you don't like anything there you are going to have to walk all the way to one of the other places in the list. And yes yaay! restrooms

Commercial Street: Commercial Street is fun. It is unlikely that any productive shopping will get done, but you can walk about in the open, no ac, no tinkly music. You can eat popcorn, blow bubbles, pop into Bhagatram, eat gulab jamoon, peer into stores and cluck cluck about rubbish people will wear, then you will reach Fab India where you will pick up two items that will fade and be demoted to dish rags in exactly 2.3 months and then you will reach westside where you will pick up one more item that you will give your maid in 4.3 months and you are done.

Brigade Road: This is silly. I don't know why you would shop here. It will be crazy crowded and you will have to walk from branded store to branded store and be stared at and clucked at by all manner of sales peoples. On the other hand like commercial street you can walk in the open minus ac and tinkly music and you could get lost in the bookstores and realise that you were a very shallow person for having thought you needed clothes in the first place.

Malleswaram 8th cross and/or Sampige road: Again no tinkly music, but you will wish you had AC. There are tons of stores to chose from.You have the shops where you can haggle and ac branded stores- where you don't. You have to be prepared to walk about laden with bags and deal with honking traffic and crowded pavements. While food options are many, they will require jostling and pushing and yelling orders. (Ok I lie. Again. These days you have lines and coupons. It is only more depressing). Also sales peoples in Malleswaram brand outlets are a little more bored and a little more determined to make you wait longer than their counterparts in "town" and the yelling screaming haggling shop peoples are little more vicious and persuasive than their counterparts anywhere.

If you are a sensible person you will stay at home and stitch your own clothes.

Friday, April 10, 2009


I don't like shopping. This dislike has grown gradually. Shopping for books and movies are ok but shopping for appliances, jewelry, clothes not so great. Id love things to be magically delivered once I have imagined what I want. Shopping for clothes is most annoying. It is also something I need to do. Now. Everything I own is worn out, stained, torn or something. Also I like new things, I like clothes, I like shoes, I like jewelry- I just hate shopping for them.

I dint always hate it. When I was younger, it was an event/activity -some two three of us girls would get together wheedle our parents out of some money and go "shopping". We would call and plan ahead -"lets go shopping on next next Saturday" It was not so bad then - limited money meant limited items which meant there was a finite end. Once you bought something game over. No wondering if you should buy something else to go with this and so on. Back then I I also knew what I wanted -(whatever the other girl was going to buy). I could buy anything - as long as it was "fun". When I shop now- I have to wonder where and how I would use the item. Could I wear it to office? Would it also suit a family function? an office get- together, a non office get together? Is it better to buy one item that is a not perfect but probable for 2 different purposes or buy one really good item that is perfect for only one purpose/location?
See? Nightmarish. Back then parents would have stocked up on enough appropriate clothes for occasions. Now shopping is no fun, it is a chore. The other big problem- nothing fits. Everything is too lose or too tight and does the shirt wrinkle funnily when I bend so and is the gap between the buttons too large and will it last.

These days I have a systematic approach for shopping like I do for chores, I venture out alone.  I make list of items I need. I will first go to a regular mid range clothing store and then hate everything there. I will then defiantly walk out and go to one or two more expensive stores, cluck cluck at the prices and then rush back to the  mid range store and buy something that was not on my list to begin with but is cheaper and multi purpose. Ill stare at it resentfully till its time to go shopping again.

In next post- Bangalore shopping guide.

Wednesday, April 8, 2009


Well not TV really, but DVD. I have been watching the eccentric and refined Belgian detective and it is really bloody good fun. It is not the mystery or the whodunit suspense , since I usually know who the murderer/thief is after the first few scenes (having read most of the books). It is fun nonetheless because it is crisp, because of the quaint language, and because of David Suchets portrayal of Poirot. David Suchet as Poirot is charming and shrewd while retaining Poirots dandy-ness and fussiness.

There have been other on screen appearances of Poirot by actors Austin Trevor (played Poirot in Alibi and Black Coffee), and Albert Finney ( played Poirot in Murder on the Orient Express) . I read that Agatha Christie gave her stamp of approval to Albert Finney's Poirot. He was even nominated for an Oscar and was considered by many as the definitive Poirot. I don't agree- too well built. What do you think? (and he looks just a little bit like Kamal Hassan no?)

Albert Finney as Poirot
Peter Ustinov also played Poirot a total of six times, (He played Poirot in Evil under the Sun -this one has been on TV often). In my opinion he was least like Poirot, being tall and grey haired. Just look at him-

Peter Ustinov as Poirot

David Suchet is the closest to the Poirot I had imagined from the books. He has all Poirot's key characteristics that find their way into all the books - his egg shaped head, his luxurious black moustaches and always being neat and impeccably dressed. Agatha Christie in The Murder on the Orient Express describes Poirot as a "small lean man" David Suchet is anything but lean, but somehow I have never thought of Poirot as lean, considering his elaborate meals and hot chocolate - lean does not fit with Poirot.

David Suchet as Poirot

The actor who plays Hastings is - right amount of bumbling but not in a slapstick obvious kind of way. Similarly Inspector Japp is also the right amount of clueless.

All the performances hit just the right key. Tonight I will find out what happened to Prince Farouq' ruby when he foolishly lets his date wear it and she simply walks away with it.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Weekly wanderings

What have I been doing? Nothing much , watching movies (mostly forgettable- confessions of a shopaholic -terrible) and the random check to see if Bangalore nightlife has returned (which dint disappoint so much this time) and watching loads of sitcoms.


Whatay movie. Both Awesome and Aiyoo Rama. Contradictory you say? What else do you say about a movie that has superheroes who do bad things but are yet superheros, superheroes who have relationship troubles, the weight of too many superpowers and high maintenances girlfriends on their nuked blue shoulder.
While the movie is brilliant at times it seems like it is a little pretentious and thinks it is above its own genre. All right superheroes can be complicated and have their troubles on the side, but there is also much to be said for the superheroes who go around bashing criminals for most o the movie as opposed to having sex and long philosophical discussions on mars.

The movie is definitely worth a watch. Information, stories, back stories, twists are simply thrown at you the first 40 minutes or so, daring you to catch up, and creating a dense storytelling, which is thoroughly enjoyable. Then, when it has reeled you in the movie settles down into a somewhat more traditional narration. Each scene is spectacular. It is strong vibrant visual story telling. So yes Watch Watchmen.
And I will go read the book- no comic- no graphic novel.


Yes I am aware Bangalore is landlocked. Still some people pining for sun,sand and fun, created a pub/bar/club/restaurant called it the beach and filled up the floor with sand, and expected it to fill up with bangloreans who wouldn't know the difference anyway. I always thought Beach was a monumentally silly idea, but hey suprise suprise its quite fun. First I went to Fuga hoping some page 3 coolness will rub off on me but it was deader than what really really dead is. So onwards to beach which had greenish bouncy lights and people dancing. yaaay.
I believe that they have some sunset grooves party every sunday 3:00p.m- 6:00p.m. Yaay madhyana party! the kind we used to have when you had permission to stay out of home only till dinner and when you went to bunkers to order a small vodka and split that with a friend. You dint do that? Well neither did I.

Pub crawl

Went on a truncated pub crawl but totally awesomely worth it. From the springy benches of styx (that we dint sit in) to the uber blue tinted coolness of nasa (the loos are also space themed and your waiters are captains and the cocktails are insane -insanely named and priced at least zero gravity will cost you some 250 bucks) and pecos.
What is wonderful about hopping from shady pub to shady pub in bangalore is that you can walk from one to another yaaay! An excellent way to spend a Bangalore evening.

More events as and when I remember them.

The post title doesnt make sense? I know.

Saturday, February 28, 2009

Female Indian Villan

I read a post on another blog (that I cant remember now and when I do I will link it) about female villains of how Glenn Close is an awesome female villain.

Usually being a female villain is no fun, especially on TV, and even in some movies. You have to wear terrible make up and plot all day about how to make life more difficult for your bahu, adopted daughter, step daughter having to create torture devices with items like tea, jhaadu, etc. Their male villain companions are also disappointing and fickle, always ditching the female villain while trying to escape or the male villains turn righteous in the end and give long homilies about women and their place.

(I know I know some of the ladies above may actually be the ‘good guys’ but they look villainous to me)

The female villains usually don't get armies of flunkies, or tanks of liquid oxygen, or other diabolical torture devices involving electricity and glittering button panels. Those belong to the male villains alone. The female villains are allowed to dress as eccentrically and as ridiculously as the male villains though. Remember Rohini hattangadi Chaalbaaz?

There other kind of female villain to be- is the super hot one- the one who is either a. oversexed narcissist b. over sexed ball breaker c. over sexed manipulator (kaikeyi/macbeth-take your pick). This villain has a little bit more fun than the make up caked domestic trouble maker above- cos she gets around, she sleeps around. She is everywhere- in the office, in her skimpy clothes, trying to get that young fellow to sleep with her. She is sunning in the islands in her bikini plotting to bump off her rich husband. She is obsessive crazy and has only one thing on her mind- Evil (why what did you think I was going to say?)

What I like about female villains is that they are ruled completely by their villainous desires. There is no grey, no difficult childhood, no trauma of watching father getting murdered that turned them into psycho revenge seekers, no political power play happening.
In her intent to do evil, the female villain of today is somewhat like the male villain of long ago like Mogambo and Gabbar who were probably born plotting who they'd rape and which village to terrorize. However Gabbar and Mogambo's had armies and mansions and private nations they ruled, while our female villains have to just do all the bad work themselves- and on a much smaller scale too- no nations to blow up just marriages to break.

This not to say that there have not been regular people female villains treading the line between the super ridiculous and super hot. They are just regular people, who just happen to be villany- like - there is Kajol in Gupt, Tabu in Maqbool . However, they are too few and too far in between.

The male villain seems to be getting more complicated and less stereo typically evil -like John Abraham in Dhoom and Hritik Roshan in Dhoom- 2, Saif as Cyrus in Being Cyrus, and as Langda Tyagi in Omkara. Akshay Kumar, Emraan Hashmi have also started playign a new brand of villain who is evil all right but has 'layers'. So, its upto to the ladies to hold up the flag for being Evil for the sake of Evil. I would love to see Mad Scientist Evil Female Villain, or just evil evil corrupt politician female villain.

Ladies- you can be good or bad- you just cant be complicated.

PS: I actually started this post wantign to blog about my all time favorite female villain- Ramya- as Nilambri in Padayappa but got sidetracked. Next post- on Nilambri.

Thursday, February 26, 2009


Hindu newspaper article: Random attacks on young women- Bangalore.

Story of one such Attack -

Blogpost doing the rounds via emails about attack in resthouse road-

and what to do?-
Maybe some answers here


is it that this mobile phone survives being swallowed and shat out by a buffalo while mine dies in shallow fake pond/pool?

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

silly 6


- is masakali a dove or a pigeon- she(he?) looks like a dove, but have heard it was supposed to be a pigeon edited to add: I have been told masakali is dove- but what i want to know is what masakali is in movie- is it dove playing pigeon? or is it dove playing dove? I cant remember -but i think someone called masakali kabootar in movie

- why patti waheeda rahman has no relatives/siblings/cousins in delhi? only nosy neighbors

- why sonam kapoor, is so annoying despite being very pretty. Is it the 'feather' haircut?

- why abhishek bachan has been cast as roshan, despite being so annoying?

- which monkey gave better performance- abhishek in gems type button monkey suit or camera on steroids jumping to crazy janga wanga woiza toiza music?

- abhishek bachan/roshan fellow has no job? He can take long undefined leave at moments notice...never has to call back boss, check work mails nothing. Maybe he is student?

- why abhishek bachan/roshan fellow keeps going round and round chandini chowk and not hanging out pubbing and clubbing in CP- which I think he'll like better.

- why abhishek bachan/roshan fellow could not ditch that stupid phone and get a proper digi cam, now that they are quite affordable.

- why abhishek roshan would fall in love with Bittu/sonam, why would sonam/bittu fall in love with abhishek/roshan

-why wahedda rahman patti is lighting a lamp when abhishek/roshan is being beaten to death in monkey suit

- isnt is nice that nobody actually dies, despite so much talk of dying peoples.